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Chapter 2 Oats
Episode 2 - "Burn Baby, Burn!" Over an intercom, "Attention all contestants, attention all contestants. It is now time to wake up, I hope you guys enjoyed sleeping in your pods, cause I know I did. Speaking off topic, we are now heading to the planet Mercury. I expect you to the exit pods soon. Best host ever, OUTTT." In the confessional room Viktor begins to speak, "gggggggggg.... ME NO LIKE, all human, no smart, Viktor bite skinny man." The camera then cut to a clip of Treyquisha in a fedal position rocking back and forth, "So, much... green....." While walking to the exit pods Mario exclaimed, "I swear everytime Kim Kim rolled over. He made the earth shake. Despite us being a thousand whatever miles away from here, the earth STILL shook." Kim Kim glared at him, "The little ones got a mouth. Let's see how long he can last.." Treyquisha smiled at Rae, "Hey Rae? Can I ask you something?" An extremely loud alarm began blaring, "ATTENTION. ATTENTION. SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED IN TEN SECONDS." Gertrude's eyes glared, "The alarm is lying. There is no self-destruct sequence, and Oatmeal is planning and evil-evil challenge." Treyquisha yelled in confessional, "Oh thanks Oatmeal. I was just going to ask Ms.Cutey Cute to hang out with me after the challenge. But nooooo." Big Bertha yelled at Gertrude, "Hey lady, you think there are McDonald's in Vencury? Or where-ever we are going to?" Fay sniffed the air, "I smell despair." Mario laughed, "I think you're smelling Gwendolyn over here." Gwendolyn yelled, "That's not how you treat a beautiful lady just like me. You need to treat her with kindness and respect." The inner cabins of the pod began exploding Avari yelled, "EVERYONE, GET OUT. IT ACTUALLY IS EXPLODING. MOVE MOVE MOVE." They all followed her command as they rushed out onto the steaming surface of Mercury. Sir Joker commented, "WOAH WOAH WOAH. The floor is just like me, steaming. You get it? You get it? DO YOU GET IT?" Mario mocked, "Oh yeah, I'm the one wearing the clown outfit and I think I'm hot. Haha." Seconds go by and everyone stares at Gertrude, "I must have been predicting the future of a different time. My deepest apologies." Oatmeal smiled, "Good morning, might I say NIGHT, all you contestants! Today's challenge consists of many different parts, you will have to divide your team up however. I don't care how you do it. Just do it right now." Treyquisha yelled, "Alright! Beavers, UNITE! I will decide the teams! The tea-" Big Bertha yawned, "Who let this no good possum squirrel all apple eater person to be the leader? You should let a real leader be the leader. I'm a mother of two, and am very useful in 'dese situations." Treyquisha sighed, "Whatever you want, snorlax." Big Bertha continued, "Watch your tongue, boy. Now in the back county, these are the ways we decide. First we wrestle the gator. Those who win, go on one team, those who don't go to the ot-" Rae inturuptted, "Not to be rude, but I believe that this team needs someone whose not afraid to decide right form the get-go. I believe that I have the capabilities of doing such, all agreed?" Everyone nodded. She continued, "We need to spread out our assets accordingly, Viktor, Trey, and Fay are going to be on one team. Which will leave Big Bertha, Sir Joker, and I on one team. That is good in my opinion." Mario looked at his team, "Alright, so you sorry suckers need a leader. I'm going to do this nice and easy. We are going to put our MOST capable contestants on one team, the others on the other. This way, we can crush them with one, and hopefully tie with the other!" Avari frowned, "Isn't that the way we LOSE? I believe that our stragety to winning should be spreading people according. So, since Slenderman is very stealthy, he should go on Team A. Along with, Kim Kim, and I. Team B will consist of, Mario, Gertrude, and Gwendolyn. Also, I believe we could use Gertrude's 'power' to predict if we are going to win." Gertrude hummed, "The stars are aligned in your favor. Let's be hopeful that the spirits don't look otherwise." Big Bertha stumbled upon the Dingo's speaking, "Excuse me, hush puppies please. I would like a proposition. Care to take a holler?" Avari looked at her, "Speak." Big Bertha smiled, "My team ain't very fond of my kin. So I feel that I should let you guys get that advantage, how does you?" Avari smirked, "How does I? I agree, if you do this, I will garuntee your safety." Sir Joker overhearing Big Bertha, "Interesting, those who seem unliked, truely are hated." Kim Kim hit his chest, "WHO'S GOING TO WIN?" The Dancing Dingos shouted in unison, "WE ARE!" Bobo said confidently, "Now that all that has been said and done, let us begin. The first team formed will relay to the point b, and then the second team will climb the giant rock formation leading their team to victory. First team to have at least one member to the top, wins." Oatmeal smirked, "Three.. two...one... GO!" Viktor began dashing forward, "Me ggggg.." Avari started yelling, "EEE, That green fellow is heading forward! I shall catch him!" She threw her rope forward and tripped him. Viktor gulped, "...sssssss......" He imploded. Oatmeal's eye's opened, "Woah, that wasn't expected, don't worry the medical team will get right on that." Fay yelled, "WOAH, isn't that cheating Oatmeal?! Do something! He might seriously be injured!" Oatmeal shrugged, "Whatever, no rules here." Trey sprinted, "MEDIOCRE RUNNING SKILLS FORWARD." He tripped and began rolling towards Team 2. Avari surprised said, "Very illogical, despite the fact that their best link is down." Slenderman noted at Avari and teleported forward. He used his arms to grab Trey, however it was too late. He had reached Team 2. At the same note however, Slenderman had reached Team B. Mario boasted, "I'm the best climber here. Leave it to me!" Gwendolyn chucked, "Boy aren't you forgetting who I am? I'm a witch! This is what I do!" She jumped on her broom and flew ahead. Sir Joker began climbing as fast as he could, in fact he was already half way there! In confessional Big Bertha stated, "I only did what I could do. I'm not in shame of it, but I'm not proud of it." Big Bertha slammed her body into the rock formation causing Sir Joker to fall. Rae began yelling, "What are you doing?! I know you don't have much brain, but can't you understand that this is very crucial. If we lose the first challenge, this might set the tone for the whole competition!" Gwendolyn laughed, "Boy, these rocks are sure cake as cake is a lie." Trey looked at the witch, "That.. doesn't even make sense!" Oatmeal grabbed a switch from his pocket, "I believe this will make things interesting. Rather than just a simple boring race, let's make it fun. This switch will release a four-headed lava beast that will most certainly destroy us all. Let's play a little game, if you win, I won't release it. If you lose... good bye!" Rae quickly rushing him keeping his eyes on Gwendolyn, "Hurry hurry! What is it?" Oatmeal smiled, "The Oatmeal Game! The show only about your lovely host Oatmeal. First let's introduce your host! Oatmeal! Why thank you every one, it's a pleasure to be here. Let's introduce our guest speaker, Oatmeal! It's nice to be here everyone and this is a very fun time to talk about. However, I believe there is one more thing to be introduced. This is, the Oatmeal Game! The audience, you, will be given many questions about your lovely host. If you answer correct, you will hear this noise 'BANG.' if you hear this noise, 'DING', you lose. The end. Alright first question, what is Oatmeal's favorite food?" Big Bertha yelled, "Hell, everyone's favorite food is bacon!" Oatmeal frowned and the noise 'BANG' went off, "If you realized, I'm on a diet, I'm not as fat as you honey." Mario confused said, "Woah, I thought you said DING means we lost." Oatmeal shrugged, "I guess I was wrong. But wait, there's more! I lied, and your team lost 'cause Gwendolyn hit the top of the rock formation! So come on down Beavers, to the elimination room!" Rae looked at Big Bertha in disgust, "Something up with her.." Treyquisha near her agreed, "I agree, whatever you decide, I have your back." Fay walked up to them, "Elementary my dear, that is what we call, an alliance. I would happily be part of this." Reluctantly, Rae agreed. Big Bertha looked at Avari, "How am I going to be safe tonight?" Avari looked at her, "Don't worry, everything is going to safe." She smirked. In confessional Avari confessed, "She isn't going to be safe, it was so obvious, I was blunt with it, any fool could have seen. However, she led herself to her own demise." Later at elimination, Oatmeal smirked, "Six people on this team, in a few minutes that number will be reduced to five. I am very disappointed, however what can I say. Please cast your vote." ... ... ... A glimpse of the voting room appeared, "I'm sorry, I'm not voting with the mainstream, it is time I break off the 'main' stream. I have to vote for you before you become a threat, Rae. .. .. Another glimpse appeared, "I know your not going to like this, your just too much a nice guy. I reckon your going to like floating into space once I shoot you from this game partner. My vote is for Treyquisha." .. .. .. .. .. One final glimpse appeared, "Your evil beliefs have plagued our team. Begone and don't come back. Plus, lose some weight while your at it, I vote for Big Bertha. .. .. Oatmeal walked out of the voting room, "I have counted the vote, and frankly, I'm pretty surprised. I'm disappointed that you guys of all people let this person go home. Now I must commence. With no votes, the people that are safe are, Viktor, Fay, and Sir Joker. That leaves three of you, Rae, Trey, and Big Bertha with at least one vote. The one that is safe with the rest of them is... Rae." Big Bertha yelled, "What? Why is this skinny girl safe? All she did is yell up my be-hind. She doesn't deserve it." Trey smiled, "Cool your jets, mama bear. It ain't over." Oatmeal laughed, "The person going home is.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Big Bertha. Wasn't it obvious?" Big Bertha growled, "I ain't leaving, you can't make me. I'm a big woman and I will back myself up." The screen blacked out. Big Bertha is seen floating as a piece of space debris. Back on earth, a redneck child points at the sky, "Look mama, it's a meteor!" Oatmeal smiled, "What great people children are. Who will survive? Who will win next episode? Will I ever get a decent hair cut? Tune in next time, for Total Drama: The Galactic Tour!"